Everything about Betrothal totally explained
Betrothal is a formal state of engagement to be
married. Historically betrothal was a formal
contract, blessed or officiated by a religious authority. Betrothal is no longer common beyond some
Arab cultures, in
Judaism and in
Islam. In
Jewish weddings the
betrothal is called קידושין (in modern Hebrew, קידושים) and is part of the
Jewish wedding ceremony.
Typical steps of a betrothal were:
- Selection of the bride
- usually done by the couple's families with bride and groom having little or no input
- this is no longer practiced except in some cultures with old-fashioned traditions (for example Israel, India), and most of these have a requirement that the bride be allowed at least veto power
- Negotiation of bride price or dowry
- Blessing by clergy
- Exchange of Vows and Signing of Contracts
- often one of these is omitted
- Celebration
The exact duration of a betrothal varies according to culture and the participants’ needs and wishes. For adults, it may be anywhere from several hours (when the betrothal is incorporated into the wedding day itself) to a period of several years. A year and a day are common in
neo-pagan groups today. In the case of
child marriage, betrothal might last from infancy until the age of marriage.
The responsibilities and privileges of betrothal vary. In most cultures, the betrothed couple is expected to spend much time together, learning about each other. In some historical cultures (including
colonial North America), the betrothal was essentially a trial marriage, with marriage only being required in cases of conception of a child. In almost all cultures there's a loosening of restrictions against physical contact between partners, even in cultures which would normally otherwise have strong prohibitions against it. The betrothal period was also considered to be a preparatory time, in which the groom would build a house, start a business or otherwise prove his readiness to enter adult society.
In medieval Europe, in
canon law, a betrothal could be formed by the exchange of vows in the future tense ("I
will take you as my wife/husband," instead of "I take you as my wife/husband"), but sexual intercourse consummated the vows, making a binding marriage rather than a betrothal. Although these betrothals could be concluded with only the vows spoken by the couple, they'd legal implications;
Richard III of England had his older brother's children declared illegitimate on the grounds their father had been betrothed to another woman when he married their mother.
A betrothal is considered to be a 'semi-binding' contract. Normal reasons for invalidation of a betrothal include:
revelation of a prior commitment or marriage,
evidence of infidelity,
failure to conceive (in 'trial marriage' cultures),
failure of either party to meet the financial and property stipulations of the betrothal contract.
Normally a betrothal can also be broken at the behest of either party, though some financial penalty (such as forfeit of the bride price) usually will apply.
In the Eastern Orthodox and Greek-Catholic Churches, the Rite of Betrothal will traditionally be performed in the narthex (entranceway) of the church, to indicate the couple's first entrance into the married estate. The priest will bless the couple and give them lit candles to hold. Then, after a litany, and a prayer at which everyone bows, he places the bride's ring on the ring finger of the groom's right hand, and the groom's ring on the bride's finger. The rings are then exchanged three times, either by the priest or by the best man, after which the priest says a final prayer. Originally, the betrothal service would take place at the time the engagement was announced. In recent times, however, it tends to be performed immediately before wedding ceremony itself. It should be noted that the exchange of rings isn't a part of the wedding service in the Eastern Churches, but only occurs at the betrothal.
Christian Ethics
Living together is disapproved of in the official documents of the churches and by many theologians. Churches have wavered over whether full sexual expression is to be confined to marriage. The solution is that sexual intercourse should be thus confined to marriage as a norm, and that premarital cohabitation is capable of being covered by marriage as either a norm or a rule. Marriage is sufficiently encompassing to cover premarital cohabitation because marriage begins not with a wedding but with betrothal. This will be called 'The Betrothal Solution'. Adrian Thatcher's "Living Together & Christian Ethics is the first positive, in-depth study of cohabitation outside marriage from a mainstream Christian theological perspective. The book retrieves the traditions of betrothal from the Bible and church history, and shows how these can transform Christian attitudes to living together before marriage.-- 15:23, 28 April 2008 (UTC)
Further Information
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